I just began this paragraph with 'Lately,' - then subsequently hit the backspace key slowly seven times after realising that my 'blogging rut' has been happening for quite some time now, and it isn't really a 'lately' sort of thing. It's not that I've lost my love for writing or my interest in social media, it's more that life has simply been practicing its little habit of 'getting in the way'.
Firstly, I have a debilitating chronic illness that affects every moment of my life. That's a pretty big 'firstly', and it's also a pretty big wedge that gets unfairly driven between my goals and me achieving them. However, saying that, I have been lucky enough to progress a little in the past two months; January was diabolical, but February and March? Not too unbearable. I've been managing to get out a little more - still unable to leave the house most weeks but hey, progress is progress - and that in turn has given me a new lease of life. I've been enjoying that newfound freedom and my attention has turned to other projects aside from blogging, which brings me onto my second point...
YouTube. Oh, YouTube! I'm loving you right now. I'm having a little moment with you. If you hadn't already gotten the memo, I started a YouTube channel a few months ago - here - and as of right now, it's one of my most favourite things. Don't get me wrong, filming is a right struggle (understatement of the year) but it's an enjoyable struggle and the benefits absolutely outweigh the physical strain. It's incredibly rewarding and the most fun I've had in a long time. It takes up a lot of my time and energy, meaning that blogging has fallen by the wayside even more - "my bad, Blogger. Best, YouTube". When you're chronically ill it really takes that whole 'do less with more focus' thing to the extreme, as you physically don't have the strength to devote yourself to more than one or two 'projects' at the same time, let alone on top of maintaining your occupation if you have one, your relationships, your mental health and ensuring that you're getting enough rest. Being ill is a full-time job, and it means that you're often forced to prioritise when you sorely wish that you could do it all without a second thought.
Thirdly, I guess I've just been feeling a little uninspired. I haven't had the spare energy to blog, nor have I wanted to put together a quick and unimaginative post just for the sake of publishing a new post. That being said however, blogging still remains to be one of my passions and after having already lost some extremely big things in my life due to ME, it'd be a real shame to see another thing that I love be stripped away. Kinda feels like I've got all the ideas but not the spoons. I'm still a little unsure on how to ease myself back into blogging on this site, but maybe committing to one post a week and seeing how that goes would be the best idea? No pressure, just a goal to aim for.
Whatever happens, I hope you know how grateful I am for all of the support and love I've received since launching my blog just over a year ago. It makes my heart ache a little bit when I think of how my blog could be if I were healthy, but all of those feelings dissolve into nothingness when I focus on how much light blogging has brought into my life. Whether I start blogging on a weekly basis again or continuing focusing on YouTube or take a turn for the worst and end up doing neither, it's nice to know that I've made true friends through my little corner of the world wide web who will be there to cushion the falls and applaud the rises.
Are you also a chronically ill blogger - if so, how do you cope? Or if you're healthy but can't blog as much as you'd like to due to time restraints or other life-y things, do you have any tips on how to manage being a busy blogger that you'd like to share?