Let's Have A Catch Up, Shall We?

2 June 2015

Today was the first day in a really long time - months upon months, we're talking - that I actually felt motivation to blog. And when I say that I don't mean my usual, 'ah, I really should get some blogging done' or other similar sentiments, I mean actual motivation. Not just a 'want' but almost a 'need' to sit down with a cup of tea and just write. So, where to start? I feel like I've written this paragraph a couple of times before, maybe. I've blogged just over ten times in 2015 so far, which makes me sad - blogging was how I got into this whole virtual world, it was where I began and now I've... kind of moved onto other things. And been held back by other commitments, and distracted by various plans. Is it time to commit to blogging again? I think it is!

Commitment is a rather scary word when you're chronically ill. How can you possibly commit to something when you're never sure how you're going to feel when you wake up? It's something I really struggle with. I want to be able to do a lot, desperately so, but I live in a body that's temperamental and if we're going to be frank; a body that can't really handle commitment. It makes it difficult to get anything done. It makes it difficult to feel like you're achieving anything or going anywhere. Saying that however, just because it's difficult it doesn't mean that I shouldn't do it at all. Just because it's difficult, it doesn't mean that it can't be done.



Like two friends who haven't seen each other properly for a few months and have been keeping up with one another thanks to Instagram posts, shall we have a catch up?

First things first, I should probably mention that I'm no longer working and haven't been since the beginning of April. You might already know that I got a job working in PR, managing the social media of a health company and writing their blog. It was a really fantastic position and one that I felt extremely lucky to have landed. Sadly, it was taking too much of a toll on my health and I physically couldn't keep up with the workload - so despite loving having a little of my independence back, singlehandedly running multiple websites proved too much. It wasn't a challenging role nor were the hours long but it was pushing my fragile body too far which was causing stress and ultimately, health comes first. So, there's that!

I've been mainly channeling my efforts into YouTube, which I'm really enjoying right now. It feels good to be doing something so rewarding, as the comments just make my day and I feel like I'm interacting with people via a medium that I find fun and engaging. It takes a lot of planning and patience, but some exciting things have been going down and it's one hundred per cent worth the spoons! If you've been wondering where I am or you've been missing my posts, you can check out my channel here - I try to post weekly, so if you don't see me around these parts you can come and watch me chat away over in YouTube-Land!

As for life outside of social media, I recently travelled to Newcastle with my parents for an appointment with Professor Julia Newton - you can learn more about her and her work in this interview if you'd like! - and I can write a blog post about the appointment if anyone is interested, but to sum it up I've now been referred to a sleep clinic, am undergoing further tests to see whether any of my symptoms can be helped by medication or treatment and I've got the beginnings of a new pacing plan. All steps in the right direction, I feel! My family, friends, Will and the cats are all well and good. I don't get to see everyone as much as I'd like to due to my health, but time with any loved ones is always appreciated.

My goals for this week are blog-related; I've been sketching out a redesign in my head for a good six months and it'd be great to make some progress with that, I'd like to plan out a couple of weeks' worth of posts and start working on them, and finally I'm thinking of putting together a little blog schedule. As I mentioned earlier, commitment is hard with chronic illness - but you're all so understanding that I feel like if I did my best nobody would mind whether a post came late or not at all. I'm also really lucky to be able to feel like that, so thank you!

I think that's about it! So, how about you? I'd love to hear what you've been up to and how you've been. Most people send me emails - you can find my contact information here - but I'm just as happy to hear from you in the comments and I'll always do my best to reply to everyone. I'm really excited to catch up - it's a nice little friendship we've got going on here, hey?

33 comments:

  1. 'Just because it's difficult, it doesn't mean that it can't be done' very wise words! I am trying to get my first job at the moment, which is proving tricky but I'm really loving the motivation and independence- fingers crossed that the right employer will love me!

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  2. I was literally just sat here refreshing bloglovin and wondering how you were doing since you haven't posted in a while when this popped up! I hope you're doing better, and thanks to you I've now started reading other M.E. blogs, because I find it really interesting!


    theamandaway,blogspot.com

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  3. I love how much of a positive person you are! It's so contagious, too. If I'm having more of a down day, I feel 10x better after reading your blog/watching a video or two! I'm trying to blog more often now, I love doing it but sometimes I just feel like I'm not really getting anywhere with it, my motivation seems to have disappeared!
    I hope you're feeling well today, lovely! Xx


    www.itsokhollie.blogspot.co.uk

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  4. I have been enjoying your videos! I am glad you feeling better

    Candice | Beauty Candy Loves

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  5. Thank you, Lyd :) ooh, happy job hunting! Hope you find something that you're happy doing, let me know how it goes :) x

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  6. Aww that's so nice of you, thanks Amanda :) that's amazing to hear! Have you got any favourites? I'm always looking for new ones to read, also :) hope you're well at the moment x

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  7. Thanks so much, Hollie :) that really means a lot, I find writing really therapeutic also and writing really helps me to 'sort out' my feelings and organise them, almost. It makes me feel so much better, 99% of the time :) I've had the same issue for months, hence why I haven't been blogging, but I've got the blogging bug again and I can't wait to get started! Here's hoping that it bites you soon, too :) and you! x

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  8. Thanks so much Candice, that really means a lot! Where did you read that? :) x

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  9. Both blogging and Youtube is going to be difficult at best Meg, you've done so well and im glad your back! I really enjoy reading your blogs and watching your videos plus I share a commen intrest (intrest ha!) as I have ME too. Feel free to add me on Instagram "@stephy_x" or Twitter "@bloomsparkles" if you like as I follow you & love keeping up to date :)

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  10. thankyou very much sugarplum! x

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  11. Happy your getting back into blogging! I have ME too and would love to hear all about your appointment with Julia! I've read a few things about her and she seems amazing! I currently go to a M.E clinic in sheffield and there helping me with pacing but its more talking therapy so i'd love to know about possible treatments and medications there trialing! Hope your well :) xx

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  12. I was so excited to see a new post from you pop up in my bloglovin feed :) I can relate to so much of what you've said about commitment with chronic illness and I feel so sad for you that you had to leave your job, but your health is 100% the most important thing. I've taken quite a bad turn for the worse recently and am worrying how much longer I'm going to be able to continue with my job :( I'll be looking forward to your future posts <3
    Love Holly x


    www.thehollydays4.blogspot.co.uk

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  13. You mentioned that you are chronically ill you must be feeling better to be writing a post hun..

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  14. I wish :) grateful for every small achievement though, despite the struggle that goes on behind the screen! Thank you for reading, it really means a lot. Hope you have a brilliant week x

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  15. SO lovely to see you blogging again lovely - health obviously comes first but so sorry to hear you had to quit the job with Melvita!
    Amazing news about the meeting and sleep clinic, I hope it all helps you out and gets you back in a rhythm of sleep. I've loved watching your videos pop up and as this is a two way conversation - hello, yes I'm good, had a bit of a wobble but back on track I think! I'm so glad to see you doing well and big hugs miss <3

    Lauren x

    Britton Loves | Lifestyle Food Beauty

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  16. Thanks so much, Steph :) so glad you think so! I'd really like to put a plan in place as at the moment I'm doing my best to keep up but it isn't the most energy-friendly way - it's like 'film a video, edit it and upload it all in the same day as I haven't been well enough to film for months and I've run out of content and then suffer for a fortnight'... not good! I don't want it to take such a toll that I have to stop so I'm going to work really hard on planning my days out hour by hour and ensuring I get enough rest. If I'm gonna do it I might as well try my best to do it the right way, even if the old ME is going to make that difficult! That really means a lot, thank you for the support :) x

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  17. Thanks, Sarah :) I'll try and get a blog post written about it for you! Ooh, I know Sheffield pretty well! Lovely city :) I don't know a lot about it (not a medical expert by any means so a lot of it goes over my head!) but I'll try and track down the relevant information for you and include that as well as what the appointment consisted of :) and you, lovely! x

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  18. Aww, that makes me so happy, thanks for letting me know Holly :) ah I'm so sorry to hear that, I was in the same position and it was making me feel really quite stressed. It's not like blogging where you aren't obligated to write anything if you're not well enough, you've got deadlines to meet and people who are counting on you to deliver, I pushed myself so much but eventually realised that no matter how much I loved the job it just wasn't realistic to continue doing with my health the way it is. Really hoping that things will be brighter for you soon lovely, let me know if there's anything I can do to help and know that I'm thinking of you with my fingers crossed. I can try and do a post on how to work with ME, or something? Not than I'm an expert but maybe it could help? Lots of love x

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  19. Thanks so much, Lauren! That's okay, I was so gutted at the time and am still sad about it but that's life, nothing is worth making yourself ill for. Aww, thank you :) funnily enough I went to see a different GP today and he said don't bother with a sleep clinic (for various reasons!) so that one is out of the window for now but he was absolutely amazing, one of the best GPs I've ever seen so I'm going to continue seeing him and hopefully things will happen much quicker, sometimes you find someone who just 'gets it' and really understands that you need answers and help urgently. So that's a positive :) glad you're back on track, always here if you're feeling wobbly and need a pal! Going to catch up on your latest videos tomorrow morning with a cup of tea, and will film The Positivity Tag soon :) thank you for tagging me lovely, and for commenting as always! All my love x

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  20. Ahhhh this makes me so mad!!!!!

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  21. You don't have to be "well" to write a blog post, I blog too but I'm not "well". Please read up about chronic illnesses because you type.

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  22. Oh Meg, you are just brilliant. So glad to hear you're enjoying YouTube (I really feel like I want to start myself... eek) and so lovely to see you blogging. It really is such a shame about your job, I really do understand.

    I've had some ups and downs lately. My job is proving to be a strain on my mental health, it's just a lot to manage day in day out, but I love it. I'm blogging when I can - I just wish I had the energy to put as much into it as I want to!

    My fingers are crossed for you post-meeting x

    Rachel | A Little Grey

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  23. That sucks about your job, I hope you're doing okay.

    Tegan xx - Permanent Procrastination

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  24. Would love to hear more about your appointment with Professor Newton! xx

    Beautylymin

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  25. Thanks for keeping us updated meg! Your appointment sounds very successful and I really hope something good comes out of it :) I'd be so interested to hear what she suggests at the sleep clinic and for medications. It's so nice to see you blogging again lovely :) I have missed your posts!

    Hugs and love Soph xxxxx

    Http://www.spooniesophia.wordpress.com

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  26. Lovely little catch up there Meg :) i'd definitely be interested in how your appointment went as it all feels too familiar to me at the moment! I'm so glad you're doing what's right for you and putting your health first, I really struggle with that, I just feel like I'm going to let everyone down so struggle on through and then feel horrible afterwards. I think I need to take a leaf out of your book! You're so right, no matter when/if you post we're all here to support you and are just happy to see a post whenever :) love to you, Erin xx

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  27. Nice little catch up post :) I am sorry to hear your job role did not work out but I can totally relate and appreciate that health has to come first. I have been pondering about jobs along those lines but don't think I'm quite in a position to explore that yet. It's great you have found your calling with YouTube, I really enjoy watching your videos. You are such a natural behind the camera. Best of luck with the sleep clinic. I hope they can help you. I have found sleep to be so important ... which kind of goes without saying but it's made the world of difference to me getting my sleep sorted out. It's still not perfect but so much improved. I hope the same for you too. Good luck with the blog overhaul. I look forward to seeing it :)

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  28. So happy to see your post! But Meg, why should you blame yourself on te lack of motivation? Of course we all (hope) understand that your illness not always let you write your wonderful posts. But even if it was not because of illness - nobody can force you to do anything. Commitment shouldn't become a fixation. If blogging is your passion, it's so normal to have periods when you just not feel inspired. I guess I just want to say that it's absolutely normal to loose your grip on your commitments and not be too harsh with yourself. But at the same time - of course I wish that you have to deal only with lack of inspiration and motivation, not this illness.
    Happy to hear that your appointement was productive and without expectations just hope it will be helpful for you. Meg, sorry for another so wordish comment, but you always inspire me to write, cause it's just impossible not to try and express what I feel. And this feeling is love:)

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  29. I quite enjoy memichaelandme.blogspot.com, and sallyjustme.blogspot.com, but you probably know about those already!

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  30. Just found your blog and you're so lovely. Your channel is awesome and honestly, health comes first so well done for stepping out of a difficult situation rather than wait when it would have been too late.

    Anyway, I'm excited to keep up with your blog :)

    Creepers & Cupcakes

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  31. Thank you so much, Kristina! I agree, you can replace a job but you can't replace your health - my body is under a lot less strain now and I can focus on getting better, although I would love to work a few hours a week. It's tough being a motivated and driven person with a body that doesn't work properly! But it has made me redefine my idea of success and I just try to work around my limitations as much as I can! Thanks, that means a lot :) x

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  32. Hey, just found your blog and over the last few days have read through numerous posts of yours and found it inspirational! I'm in the limbo of being told I have Chronic Fatigue syndrome but without having the 'proper' diagnosis and finding things very hard to learn and deal with and teaching myself things like pacing so finding a blog such as yours has been a bit marvellous. Also inspired me to start my own blog, and it has been helping to have a bit of time planning and blogging :) One of the most difficult things I've found is the boredom and trying to fill my days with enough that I feel productive without ending up feeling absolutely rubbish! But slowly, slowly learning new things and tips.

    Amy :) http://alianoutbody.blogspot.co.uk/

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  33. Hey Meg, I've been reading your blog for a while now and it's actually really helped ME get motivated. I started my own blog (not beauty related, I'm into writing poetry and stuff) just a few days ago and I'm a complete newbie to this. XD Just wanted to let you know that you've been my main source of motivation this past month:) Thank you.


    asandystorm.blogspot.com

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